A leaked copy of a transcript of a phone call emanating from the offices of the Melbourne newspaper ‘The Era’ has come intoy my possession. It makes for fascinating reading….
[voice 1, male, sounds about 23, nervous]: Er, hi, um is that, that is, could you put me through to the Ovaltine department?
[Voice 2, female, sounds about 21, confident as heck]: Oh haha, ahem you mean the Overton department? That’s me. How can I help?
[V1]: Ah, right. Well, thing is, I’ve been asked by the chief editor to write 1200 words to ‘shift the Overton window to vax death good’. I’ve no idea what that means. I didn’t have the guts to ask - you know, it was in a big meeting and everyone else seemed to know. But my friend said I should call you guys, er girls, er folk. He said you’d helped him write the most amazing copy.
[V2]: Relax, this is going to be easy. I can help. When do you need it?
[V1]: 4pm deadline. It’s already 2 o clock. I could lose my job if I don’t file it on time.
[V2]: OK, let’s start with the basics. You know what the Overton window is, right?
[V1]: Remind me?
[V2]: It’s the boundary of acceptable discourse. You shift it by writing about something that used to be beyond the pale, in a way that frames it as a good thing. The Gaslight department has some really good resource material for doing that.
[V1]: The Gaslight department? I’ve never heard of them.
[V2]: Actually, it’s also me. I just like to pretend I work for different sections of the paper, just to entertain my friends.
[V1]: So what would the gaslight department advise?
[V2]: Oh it’s really very simple. It’s always three steps. First, say the bad thing isn’t happening. Second, admit it sometimes happens but it’s rare. Always say ‘extremely rare’. Third, confess that it happens a lot, but it’s actually a good thing.
[V1]: But wouldn’t one sound like a complete fool writing that?
[V2]: You would think so, right? But no, people lap it up.
[v1]: I can’t believe it but let’s go with it. I’ve got to get this done. What next? ‘Vax death good’. That’s what he said to me. How can I make people believe that dying from a vaccine that you didn’t want to take in the first place could possibly be a good thing? Sounds demonic.
[V2]: Steady on. I’m here to help write the article, not tackle metaphysics.
[V1]: Sorry. Go on.
[V2]: OK. We start with something like ‘death from vax is extremely rare.’ Whatever you do, don’t mention injuries as well. Stick with the deaths. And only the 8 deaths that the official databases acknowledge. Got it? EXTREMELY rare. Then we move on a little bit and find someone who actually died from a vax thingy and maybe interview their parents and if you like you could chuck in something about how the dead person really wanted to help the community by getting vaccinated against her will. Then…
[V1]: Whoah whoah slow down and let me get all this down.
[V2]: You’re not using AI to transcribe for you?
[V1]: Uh, no.
[V2]: Ooh old school eh? I like that. Very sexy.
[V1]: OK keep going.
[V2]: Right, you’ve passed steps 1 and 2, then you need to show that it turns out that dying for no reason is a good thing. Could you rustle up some sort of study or peer-reviewed nonsense?
[V1]: I doubt it. Who could make such an argument?
[V2]: Let me have a quick look….How about this: There’s a study where they found people who died had a special antibody that sometimes went from harmless to deadly.
[V1]: How is that good news?
[V2]: You’re really cute, the way you pretend to have no idea how the world works. Here’s the thing: if this antibody thing sometimes goes from harmless to deadly, then somebody can get a grant to figure out why and then they can make new gene therapies to keep the antibody harmless that they can sell for exhorbitant cost to people who don’t want to get the first vax but now they can get this new vax first before they get the other vax that might kill them. This is good news!
[V1]: I see, I think.
[V2]: Then you need to close out the article. Remember, you have to make ‘vax death good’ a part of the normal discourse. New research! New vaccines! Progress! But don’t overdo it. Go back to the grieving parents. Get a couple of counter-narrative quotes from them, just to give the impression of impartiality. Let me do a quick search….Oh here’s one. Something like:
“ Katie lost her life trying to follow health advice. Her parents feel their daughter’s story was inconvenient when media and government were trying to encourage people to get vaccinated. ‘I very strongly believe the deaths and the injuries were collateral damage no one wanted to talk about because it would damage their messaging, said Ian.”
[V1]: Wow, you are good at this.
[V2]: Ah, oops, actually, that last bit? That’s a direct quote from an article in The Age by Liam Mannix. Published today. You’d better not use that.
[V1]: Bugger. He beat me to it.
[V2]. Never mind. Just remember the formula and you’ll be fine. 1. It’s not happening. 2. OK it sometimes happens but it’s EXTREMELY rare. 3. OK it happens a lot but here’s why it’s a good thing.
[V1]: Got it. By the way, would you like to go out for coffee one day?
[V2]: It’s not happening.
[V1]: Great! I’ll swing by after work on Friday.